From "The Scotsman"
Experts say the death of chivalry is leading to increasing hostility in
society.
Poll finds manners no longer maketh the man
STEPHEN McGINTY
* 80% of online poll respondents say public losing good manners
* 70% believe people have lost art of speaking correctly
* Manners first became fashionable in medieval Florence
Key quote "We value manners, not only because they promote good behaviour,
but, most importantly, they curb bad behaviour. They are the oil that
smoothes our path. People feel that society is more hostile and so may act
in a more hostile manner. When someone asks a group to stop making such a
noise, he gets stabbed or beaten" - Dr Colin Gill, chartered psychologist
Story in full THE door, once held open for a lady, has been slammed shut.
The tipped hat has been knocked askew and the punctual arrival is late. The
British public is mourning the loss of good manners, according to a new
survey.
Good manners, described as the noise you don't make when you're eating soup,
came top of a poll of life skills which the British public believes are
dying out. While other lost skills include the art of the letter- writing,
needlework and car maintenance, the greatest concern of 5,200 people, polled
by the website Videojug
public etiquette.
The rise of antisocial behaviour and the fall in polite conversation meant
80 per cent of those polled said good manners, built up over hundreds of
years, had been replaced by today's yobbish behaviour.
Last night Thomas Blaikie, the author of Blaikie's Guide to Good Manners
said: "I'm not surprised by the results. I think a lot of people do get hot
and bothered about what we think of as poor manners. Today when you go out
to the supermarket people don't smile at each other, it's as if you don't
exist. When you go out with your friends they spend half the time talking on
their mobile phones to friends who aren't even there."
Punctuality, which came 12th in the list of lost skills, and good
conversation which came 13th, are two of Mr Blaikie's major issues.
As he explained: "People turn up 40 minutes late and if you complain they
look at you as if you are mad. While even in a relaxed conversation people
find it difficult to talk to each other without asking crass or intrusive
questions."
There is evidence that the British public has had quite enough of bad
manners. This year 1,671 people complained to the Advertising Standards
Agency about an advert for Kentucky Fried Chicken which showed call centre
workers singing with their mouths full of food.
While China issues instructions on the correct way for a tourist to behave
in Britain, for example, if lost for words he or she should discuss dogs or
inquire if a person has seen the film Bridget Jones's Diary, Britain has
abandoned the strict rules that previously governed social behaviour.
Andrew Roberts, the historian and author of A History of the
English-Speaking Peoples since 1900, said last night it was refreshing that
people wished to see a return to good manners. "In the 1960s it was deemed
to be the right thing to do to ditch the old Victorian values and examples
of proper behaviour," he said.
"But today we can see that it was a precursor to crime, yobbishness and the
ASBO. In 1900 the average working man would be expected to comport himself
as a gentleman.
"The aristocracy of the working classes prided themselves on behaving better
than the genuine aristocracy, many of whom were frequently drunk in public."
The poll revealed many people believe that basic courtesies are now lacking
such as neighbourliness - rated fourth - as working family patterns result
in fewer people knowing their near neighbours.
The art of speaking correctly came in at fifth place, with nearly seven in
ten of those polled believing current generations have lost the ability to
communicate in a grammatically correct manner.
Manners first developed in Florence during the Renaissance as a method of
setting a person apart as a gentleman, and the fashion was later adopted in
Britain. It was manners, according to Dr Colin Gill, a chartered
psychologist, that allowed society to slowly begin to move away from
behaving, on pure instinct, violently.
He said: "We value manners, not only because they promote good behaviour,
but, most importantly, they curb bad behaviour. They are the oil that
smoothes our path. People feel that society is more hostile and so may act
in a more hostile manner. When someone asks a group to stop making such a
noise, he gets stabbed or beaten."
The poll also found 76 per cent of adults believe there is an "urgent need"
to preserve the basic skills which are dying out, from politeness to the
more practical art of DIY. There were even 12 per cent who believe it is
worth preserving political correctness as a British skill, although this
only managed to squeeze in at number 20 in the table.
The reason for the decline was put down by three in four people as laziness,
while 56 per cent believe people today rely on others too much to learn such
talents themselves. However it is also a common belief that parents are not
passing on traditions to their youngsters, with received wisdom named in the
top 20 of dying skills.
